i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
