I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
