That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize