I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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