What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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