this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
