Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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