According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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