this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
