ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
