I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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