so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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