I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
