He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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