I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
