Sponge bath it is.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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