i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
did you just send me my own nude
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
