Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
