addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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