yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
