can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
