i permit you to call me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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