Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
