Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
