Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
