I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
