if i can run in heels then i can drive
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
