I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
