I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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