Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
