I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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