I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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