Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
