it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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