I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
