I think I won the penis lottery.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
