Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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