I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
