I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
MIDGETS
????
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
