i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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