I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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