i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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