the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
