lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
