dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
