why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
