could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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