Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
