Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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