so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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