yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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