I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
