you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wear drunk well.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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