Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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