also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
