you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
