I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
