so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
