what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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