under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
