Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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