do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
