I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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