it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
