Well apparently he's into motor boating.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Small penises have feelings too.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
