Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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