Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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